SOUNDPROOF

:)

2010-03-05T05:54:00.000-08:00

woah haven blog in ages..oh well that's cause i live in my grandma's house and the internet there is real slow. anw it's definately been another hell of a week for me. all the trg and studying. but i survived!hahahha..no trg tmr! yes! today A'level results were released. somehow even though i wasn't the one getting results, i felt so anxious and nervous,esp for bestie...but thank god she did well..not the best but good enough to get into uni! 2As, 1B and 2Cs! well done kwee! so happy for her..i also got back chinese..got an A, but my oral was just a pass only..hahha..okay gotta go study..sports carnival tmr..where is kallang shore garden?

is my fight still worth it? or is it time for me to let go?

2010-02-27T22:38:00.000-08:00

what's wrong with me these few days? have my will power shrunk or have i grown weaker in terms of my mentality. Saturdat trg has really got me thinking of why i fight on so hard for the team, but whether it is worth it. only 5 ppl turned up for sat trg and we got punished for the small number. is it totally our fault? or does the fault also lies with coach? why doesn't everyone like to come for trg? i think that we need to talk it out and ask whether they still wanna continue. why let us suffer just because the your heart isn't in trg? why? i somehow feel that it was a waste of my time coming because we ended up doing more punishments than learning the game. why are we constantly getting punished because of others? it's not fair! totally not fair!
seriously if this continues, i think i'll just quit cause it's not worth my fight anymore. i come for trg and other don't. i come for trg yet coach scolds us for not puttting in effort and praises those who pon trg. why? why? why? argh!!! my best friend tells me to follow my heart and my heart really don't wanna continue this suffering and torture. tell me what to do?! i'm so confused and wish to stop all this SHIT! :(

2010-02-21T03:21:00.000-08:00

argh! why does my life seem so messed up? anw just glad the week's over..but saturday trg was hell as usual..nth surprising to be about. don't even know why we did so many sprints and pumping! for what? for his pleasure? cant take it when he insults us on the field..call us stupid, slow pok? wth la..he very good mah? friendlies with SRJC on thursday. i hope we'll win cause if we don't, it's GG! as in really GG for us..sure PT. but what can i say man..it's all a team effort. hope we'll not be complacent and just give 101% in the match. for ourselves, and not coach! for ourselves, for NY. :)

saw smth today, and couldn't help but blog bout it. while i was at the hawker centre today, there's this lion dance troupe that went fm stall to stall "performing". ignore the lousy performance, cause seriously all they did was shake the lion's head and blink those eyes, and they expected to get an angpow in return. scam la..worse of all, after this troupe left, another came quickly. it kinda got me thinking how stupid and how scammer they were... NOISY, UGLY AND CANT DANCE AT ALL!!!

anw econs lecture test next week! hope i can really do well..prepared the essays today for the whole day..actually only 4 out of 5, but still felt kinda accomplished, but never study for application of differnetiation test tmr..nvm ba..shall use my one and a half hr break to chiong tmr!:) hahhaha..okay try to go study a little now~

sorry team

2010-02-18T06:31:00.000-08:00

well so much for LNY...it doesn't feel a least bit like it was supposed to feel. i guess it's just all the changes that have been occuring around me..new friends, new environment and stuff. but anw thankfully it's over, and that means starting sch agn..
guess the day has been shitty agn..all the conflicts that are surfacing..actually i think that if we had talked bout things earlier, it may not have snowballed till this stage, and may not be that bad. maybe if we had a team talk, nth would happen..hiaz too many maybes and what ifs..pity life cant be reversed. somehow i just think that there's really nth wrong in siding with her. i understand how she feels and all the pressure and stress she faces..why cant the rest just be more understanding and think fm our perspective. my life seriously doesn't revolve around touch rugby, and the only reason that i'm still in this cca is cause of the team. it's not a problem of wrong mentality. i seriously love the sport and the team, but there are issues that i'm unhappy about and if i keep avoiding them or escaping, i'll never be able to enjoy trg or peak in the game like before. i have no intentions of quitting but if things get too bad, i dunno what i'll do next. sorry guys for everything but maybe i just don't have the same frequency as some of you do and do not have so much time for touch rugby. i really need to focus on my studies. i'm having pressure fm alot of ppl to do well and it's my major year. i'm sorry that my attitude today was not the best, but i had enough le. sorry but maybe you should try putting urself in my shoes and maybe you can understand what i'm going through. it's not easy for me, really! it's really time for a talk with coach to trash things out..enough of lying to Mr singh and all our stupid scams. how long can we keep up with it? i hate being such a liar!

long weekend! :)

2010-02-12T07:10:00.000-08:00

finally my long awaited long weekend is finally here! whoots! super happy...anw tmr will be CNY eve..went to school today for just an hour plus for some stupid celebration, but oh wells go lor, if not kana CWO den i really die! oh ya and thanks to all for your presents. real sweet of you guys!!!hahaha..this whole week has kinda been hell for me.all the trg and stuff. been having PT these few trgs, actually they're not that tiring, but the next day, MUSCLE ACHE! :( gotta recuperate these few days. BUT went to watch valentine's day with 0932..is this counted as our class outing? if yes, then it's rather a successful one! the show was AWESOME and FUNNY..don't mind watching it agn! :D hmm..went out with vivien today to st margretrs for fun and later to get her soccer boots today. i can say she's fickle minded man..took so long to choose. and when finaallly she got her boots, i was relieved! haha! went for last min CNY shopping today. at least i got smth! cant wait to meet up with my cousins man..really missedd all of them and the fun times we shared! :)

ok cant make it for trg tmr.sure die le. coach will be pissed. but actually i feel that he doesn't have the right to do so cause it's CNY eve..give us a break for goodness sake! my life doesn't just revolve around this almond shape ball!

answers to my questions?

2010-02-07T06:20:00.000-08:00

AHHH..maclaurin's test tmr..and i've yet to study.but oh wells dun really care!hahaha..anw school has def been a hell of a week for me. i really seriously feel so lost in lectures and tutorials..sometimes i feel so lost and so far behind others that i actually even ask myself why i went to become an ogl..but no matter what, it's all over. just gotta do alot alot alot of catching up. i remember what ms hazel said when i started year1.." jc life is just like catching the bus"! somehow today i kinda really understood what she means man..integration lessons are the worst of all. i just sit there staring blankly at my lecturers and copy the notes. but am i absorbing in anything? NO NO NO! :( oh ya got back another 2 more papers..gotta a B for geog and C for history. somehow satisfied with geog, but not history..i keep telling myself that i'm no longer in year 1, and is this the results i am expected to get at this point of time? JC2 ALREADY LEH!!!!even though everyone says it's normal to fail blocks, but is this what i want? i just got loads of qns bombarding me and yet can't find the answers to them! argh!

anw the new batch of J1s came for touch rugby on thurs..really see alot of potential in some of them. i'm sure that they'll make a good team, maybe even better than my batch. well cant believe that we've survived this far, and now we're on the edge of losing players. expected this long time ago le, but the feeling now is just so different. about a month to go to JC league, and i wonder will my team make it? what if there are more who wants to leave? must we go for the competition just like how we did for m1? i don't know man... where is the bonded touch rugby team that everyone sees?

saturday service was yet again an AWESOME one. casting crowns..it really made me think twice about how my christian walk has been. is salvation just all i want, or do i want my treasures in heaven? gotta start building relationships in school and keep praying for revival in NY. personally i'm not one who dares to ask my frens to church and whenever i tried, i just get rejected. maybe because of it i lost my courage.. BUT, i shall just keep trying (:

okay gotta go study a little for test tmr! at least i did some hw today.. sense of accomplishment! YAY! (:

our passion, is like fire..

2010-02-03T05:21:00.000-08:00

4 days of orientation are over..well it was super tiring, but loads of fun! so worth it.really glad to know my fellow ogls and ogms better.yay!all the cheering and stuff all stuck in my head!:) but now it's time to get back to reality. NO more fun No more slacking..gotta catch up with my studies..felt so lost during maths lecture today..did not even understand integration at all :( but what to do? gotta go consultation with LIMHU..bleh!hahha..and thank God i did ok for my maths and econs even though i was sick!

anw cca bazaar today. got around 30 plus ppl signed up for touch rugby..wonder how many will really stay? will they be like us? i just hope they'll do NY proud like we did. never felt so much achievement as today when we went up to recieve our medals..all the blood, sweat, tears and all can be summed up into 2 words..WORTH IT! happy happy..

2 more days to orientation!

2010-01-26T06:34:00.000-08:00

3 days since i sprained my ankle, and it's not okay!!! how can? still swollen man.. i heard that to fully recover fm an ankle injury, it takes 3 months..how how how? got JC league coming up and all that stuff..major competition for me and i need to be able to perform to my best. GP lesson today was funny man. we did a presentation on the key events of 2009, and we crapped out alot alot alot of nonsense..like wth la..WASHINGTON vs. CLINTON, and the stupid IRAQ WAR..hahahhaha!
anw today the cca teacher talked to us..i guess there is alot for all of us to reflect upon man. how do we want others to see the touch rugby/rugby ppl? i guess the ans lies in each of us!:)
another day that i cant train..but hope by sat i can at least run a little! 2 more days left to orientation..what can i say man..super EXCITED! alot of things to do as tribe leader man..but oh wells, so it for the tribe lah! and i think blocks results are gonna be out soon..nightmare! hahahhaha..okay okay need to go prepare for maths tutorial tmr, if not LIMHU sure kill me! :X

ouch ouch ouch!

2010-01-23T05:39:00.000-08:00

i hate sat 23 jan! cant believed we had trg for 5 hrs..play touch till can die..what's worse is i went there uninjured, but went home full of injuries! i sprained my ankle and got a flesh-deep cut! ourch right? oh wells, what can i say men..just unlucky lor..i wish mr kwek would change the school field..it's just so wth la! argh! how to do mass dance like that? how to play touch next tuesday? damn it la..i hate it man..really hope i can get well asap! so can play!!! hiaz!hahhaahaha...ok ba need to go rest le. super tired after a day of trg followed by church service. okok me go slp le...

FREEDOM, LIBERATION!

2010-01-20T03:52:00.000-08:00

BLOCK TEST IS OVER! FREEDOM! hahhaha..i can finally enjoy myself! these few days have been hell for me..not only did i not use the comp, but also fell sick! damn it la..couldn't concentrate during my revision and test..thus i SCREWED all the paper..so gotta go enjoy these days before results out! next week Orientation le..gonna be sooooooo FUN!cant wait man! :D

be a witness for God

2010-01-10T05:51:00.000-08:00

woah!2 days in a row of powerful sermons by pastor Joakim..really moved by what he preached and i feel even more powered up to have a revival in NYJC. like what new gens that day talked, i really hope to see NYJC HOGC members grow fm 6 to 8. even though it seems little, but it's not easy..but NYJC will do it. we'll witness to our frens! hahahha..and during service i kinda made a promise with myself to learn to integrate much more with my cg and also the ny cg..so yupp, hope i'll fufil it..

schs starting tmr..but thank God no lessons! whoots! but still gotta study hard and chiong for blocks la..cant disappoint my parents, and myself..and i gotta be a testimony for HIM :D

TEAM? :(

2010-01-08T04:10:00.001-08:00

after looking at coach's facebook i think we as a team need to really do some self reflection. it's really no point trg with the regular few without the rest, cause we are a TEAM. touch rugby is a TEAM sport, not an individual one! i dun see why some can make it for touch, while others cant. besides i really dun wanna lose coach even though sometimes he may seem unreasonable, but we know that it is for our own good. i really hope that the team will change for the better and not disappoint COACH, TEAM-MATES, THE SCH...and i think the exco and those who sent the sms-es today should really set a good example, and not be hypocrites! if we don't set the example, then how do we expect others to follow???

oh these few days were productive day of studying..hope i can really do well for blocktests!

RADIO FREQUENCY

2010-01-06T06:54:00.000-08:00

today went out with kwee to study at city hall there..quite productive leh! and i finally got my soccer boots at a real good deal!!! YAY! hahha.. and i decided to listen to Pastor's audio sermon on radio frequency! as usual, Pastor's sermon never fails to inspire me to a greater level..and i really realise the importance of turning on our spiritual receivers and tuning it to GOD's frequency..oh well, i guess it's too much for me to blog..go get the cd to know more!:)

terrible tuesday!

2010-01-05T04:05:00.000-08:00

tuesday! trg day for me agn..don't know why we touch rugby must chiong so much to train. and worse of all. all these trg has been super draining on me both physically and menally. 4 hours plus of trg each time and it is enough to make me tired for the whole day. a huge drain on my energy, making me unable to study to my fullest! hiaz, but what can i say man? i'm not the captain! blah blah blah! the worst thing is that i sprained my pinky today and doc says the ligament is half torn! wth la.i'm super duper ultra sick of going for trg..wish sat wun have trg, but captain say have! gonna die le..and dun feel like going the least bit! shall see how it goes...

ok i'm off to STUDY STUDY AND STUDY EVEN MORE since i even have difficulty typing this post! argh! :( :(

2010-01-03T04:15:00.000-08:00

one more week to sch reopening. which means 2 more weeks to block test. i dunno why but i'm not ready for it.hahaha.actually no one is ever ready for tests or exams...just dunno why but i cant study as well as i did last year. where's my motivation when i need it the most?hahha.but i really wanna study well and do well. nvm shall put aside everything and FOCUS. i can do it!

anw service yest was awesome. i really agree with what pastor said regarding the vision thingy. to walk in the fear of the lord, and in the comfort of the holy spirit. that just got me thinking, and i realised that i needed to "up my level" spiritually. ok must go study le..

2010

2010-01-01T06:14:00.000-08:00

Guess what? IT'S 2010..
and i decided to reopen my blog!
i guess this year has passed rather fast for me..
all the pleasent and well not so pleasent moments..
oh wells, at least i made some awesome friends
and had the best moments in touch rugby :D
but i'm sure gonna miss those moments like studying with my best buddy
i just hope that 2010 will be better..
a new year, a new start :)
gotta study hard and chiong!!

and to my best buddy..

thanks for making 2009 one of the best for me.

it definately was a hell of a yr, but u were there..

the happy times, the emo times,i'll always rmb..

love ya ttm girl!

and all the best for ur results :)

2008-08-01T04:05:00.000-07:00

Everyday i wear a mask
To cover Up the fear
To haide the insercurities which are unwelcomed
I want them all fooled
I hope no one can see this mask i wear
To hide my personality
Once i Tried to take it off
To show what i hide inside
But it seemed no one understood
And much preferred the lies